We have all been in the situation where people do things through action or decision that displease us. However, I’m pretty sure that we can all agree that the action doesn’t always make the person. Unfortunately, however, the natural tendency is to base our feelings about a person upon the action they have made that caused us so much disquiet. Hence the term, “Conditional Love,” is born.
Mr. Covey points out under this heading that we can separate how we feel about the negative action from how we feel about the person who performed it and still preserve feelings of love (unconditional) in this way. If they are doing things that are way out of line we can set boundaries, we can talk to them about what they are doing and perhaps even make the decision to step away from them in a loving positive manner without degrading them as a person. Hence the term; Unconditional Love! Pretty cool huh?
However, please do keep in mind, not everything people do that we dislike is bad. We just don’t agree with what they are doing. If we can allow them to go about their business without projecting judgments onto them we will have earned a good amount of credit once again in the emotional bank account we have with them.